2018考研英语写作冲刺,赶快改掉这样的错误!
Directions: Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should
1) interpret the chart, and
2) give your comments.
You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET (15 points)
根据这个题目,要求考生按正式考试的时间来进行写作,现将收集到的60份作文中出现的错误整理如下(标红色的地方为需要改正之处以及怎样改正):
1、整体情况:得分8-13分,大部分同学11-12分,个别考生写了题目,应去掉 The situation about study abroad
2、第一段的问题
(1)时态的问题
例:The chart shows great changes in the number of students who choose用过去式 to attend schools or universities outside their home country during the period from 2008 to 2011.
(2)单复数的问题
例1:To be more specific, the number of overseas students has skyrocketed by leaps and bounds by 36.5% from 110 thousands to 150 thousands over the period from 2008 to 2011.
例2:The above line chart shows changes in the numbers of students studying abroad during the period from 2008 to 2011.
(3)数据描述的问题(数据不准确)
例1:According to the survey, the number of people studying overseas has been on a steady rise from one hundred and ten thousand people to one hundred and five thousand people.
例:2:Apparently, the number of people who study abroad surged substantially by 60%, from 100 thousand to 160 thousand.
例3:As can be subtly portrayed from the line chart,there are tremendous transformations have occurred in terms of the population 改成number of student who go abroad to study from 2008 to 2011 .
例4:The above curve chart explicitly reflects that 加a steady increase have During this period, the number of people studying overseas has been a steady rise from 10.8 thousand to 15.3 thousand.
(4)修饰关系的问题
例1:The chart above explicitly demonstrates the changes in the statistics of Chinese students加studying abroad.
例2:From the data given above, we can easily conclude that the 加number of overseas students experienced a gradual accumulation of nearly 40 thousand.
例3:From the statistic given in the chart, we can see that the number of 加students studying in foreign 加countries increased from about 11,000 to about 15,000.
(5)介词的问题
...one can see that the ones’ number increased to 1.5 times from 2008 to 2011.
(6)内容过于简单,词汇运用不准确
例1:In the chart,the number of the student who study abroad is big 词较简单and it becomes more and more.
例2:The above line chart explicitly mirrors the statistics of the undergraduates 改成students study in abroad in China between 2008 to 2011.
一段是问题最多的,在此增加整段举例及最终分数
(1)It can be seen from the line chart that the numbers of people studying overseas has climbed obviously ,increasing from about 110,000 in 2008 to nearly 150,000 in 2011. (描述部分太少,可再详细一些,9分)
(2)There is a chart about the number of the people who are studied abroad. It is obvious that the population 改成number of the students 加studying overseas became more and more with the time加progressing . And I think it is a good situation for our country to educate the person with ability.(表述问题较多,影响交际,8分)
(3)缩进4字母The above line chart clearly reflects big changes have taken place in the number of people who go abroad to pursue further study during the past four years spanning from 2008 to 2011. Over the same period, the number of that increased steadily from 110 thousand to 150 thousand.(表述准确,可加上对数据的再加工,比如做个减法)(12分)
3、第二段的问题
(1)用语不准确
例1:It makes a person more independent because 加of live加ing alone.(because是连词,可加of换成介词短语,再在live后面加ing变成名词)
例2:On the other hand, overseas studies also provides us with a valuable chance to to learn how to 加be open-minded and independent.(不定式短语要在to后加动词原形)
例3:Those students will get high salary after 加they finish their academic career.
Study加ing abroad can help students to be fluent in a new language, familiarity with a different culture, and a chance to grow in different ways.(after在这里是连词后面需要加完整句子,需补充主语;“海外学习”作主语应是非谓语的形式;familiar在这里应该和fluent保持一致)
例4:The world become integration改成ed(become系动词后应该是形容词,而不是名词)
例5:Meanwhile, it is改成they not only study aboard but also open up their eyes.(it 在句首要么做形式主语要么强调句,这里并没有这样的呼应,不需要用it作主语)
例6:we could feeling the another culture in our world and it will widen our eyes. (情态动词后要加动词原形)
(2)雷同的模式化语言过多(在很多考生的文章中都可以看到这两句话,句子本身没有问题,但用的人过多,就会影响得分)
例1:A variety of complicated factors can account for the change, with the following two being the foremost.
例2:Nowadays, with the accelerating pace of market-oriented economy in China, folks in mounting numbers have possessed more disposable income, which enhances the purchasing power and enables them to afford the cost of oversea studying.
3、第三段的问题(问题最少,但有两个严重问题:第一就是模板化语言痕迹最太重;第二是大家普遍不太重视三段的写作,只留下一段模板句)
(1)用语不准确
例1:this augment will be able to bring them more competitiveness at work.(be able to表示主语要有发出后面动作的能力才行,和argument用在一起不合适)
例2:with the continuous improvement of living stands and more individuals realize 改成 realizing the significance of spiritual pursuit ,this established trend will continue for quite a while in the forthcoming years.(with结构是介词短语,里面的动词需用非谓语的形式)
例3:The above analysis naturally leads us to the reliable conclusion that individuals will benefit from the knowledge they studying 改成have learned abroad.(这里they...这个句子是修饰knowledge的定语从句,需要谓语动词的形式)
(2)雷同的模板式写法(很多同学在这个部分都只是把自己背过的模板句写上就算收尾了,比如下面这两个例子,在这里老师提醒大家要尽量加一点自己的观点体现你最这个问题的思考,这样才能有更好的分数)
例1:From what we have discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that this current phenomenon is of no surprise. And therefore, this trend will continue in our country for quiet a while in the near future.
例2:Considering all the points discussed above,we can naturally come to the conclusion that this trend demonstrated in the chart will probably sustain in the forthcoming future, which means the statistics of people studying abroad will continue its upward trend.
以上是老师根据出国留学这个话题收集到的一些同学写的文章给大家举的真实错误的例子,相信你也或多或少犯过其中的某项或某几项错误,希望看到本文的考生们能从中看到自己的错误,及时规避,在写作中有更完美的文章呈现!
(跨考英语教研室 包婷婷 转载请注明出处)
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