2014考研英语写作160篇:终点又是起点(考生作文批改及评分)_跨考网

　　写作原文

　　As is vividly shown above, on the playground runs a young man, arriving(加at) the terminal point, which is defined as another start one(去掉), and having to go ahead without a short stop(中式思维，改为without a break). Simple as the picture is, the meaning behind it is just as an old Chinese proverb says,“Aspire to inspire until I expire.”Nothing can be equaled with(错误表达，应为be equal to，或用 compare with) persistence among all the human qualities. What’s more, the public attaches due attention to the above characteristic as well. Those who are perseverance (perseverant)are more likely to achieve success, compared with those who are not. Insistence saves students a great deal of time by eliminating hours spent on hesitation, so they would be able to concentrate more time and energy on their academic work and obtain excellent results. By continuous effort, not only can people accumulate wealth, but will also establish their career, fit into society, and even attain social status. Put it another way, the spirit of persistence shall not be perished from a successful person.(perish用在这里不合适，可改为if you want to be a successful man，persistence is the very thing you need to possess.)For example, Zhang haidi, having difficult in her body(中式英语，可改为having physical problems with her body，或者disabled) since five years old, without persistence, how can she accomplish her study? Without persistence, how can she be a famous writer? Without persistence, how can she be worthy of the title of “Contemporary Paul”?

　　总体点评

　　文章基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了相关的内容要点，结尾采用举例和反问的方式比较新颖，但是文章存在以下问题：1、文章有些许语法错误，应加强自己的语法基础;2、文章运用了一些比较出彩的句式，如倒装句，并且句子长短错落有致。但需注意一点，句子之间的衔接应该更加恰当清晰，使人能够快速地明白作者的思路。需在连接词那里下功夫。3、文章有的句子很有亮点，如引用的那句名言“Aspire to inspire until I expire.”但依然有一些中式思维的句子。这一点需要作者大量模仿经典佳句，让自己的文章不仅有亮点，而且整篇文章连贯流畅。加油，祝您考研成功!!!

　　参考分数(满分20分)：14

　　2014年考研英语作文专题

　　2014考研英语作文热点预测28篇汇总