2015考研英语:写作范文批改与点评Ⅵ_跨考网
作文是广大考生在考研考试中能够取得高分的一道决定性的题,许多考生都烦恼自己的写作能力不过关要如何提升,在这里跨考教育小编为大家收集了一些写作范文,供大家参考,希望有助于同学们提高写作能力。
英语作文范文:过劳死
From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of(建议改为because of,for the sake of一般用来表示“为了”,后常接目的状语) overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child(改为so does their child).What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in(改为live,live in表示“居住,住在”,后常跟地点状语) a life of a rapid rate(改为a fast-paced life).They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.In(去掉)hence,they don’t have enough time to get enough rest.(语义和前一句重复,可删除)Moreover,because of the life burden(改为burden of life),some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people don’t place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives(改为life,daily life为固定搭配).What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers’ pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.
总体点评
文章写得还不错!但是应当注意词汇选择的准确性及句子的精简。以后的写作中,还是应该加强基础的语法知识,积累并模仿高分语言佳句,使自己的表达更地道更优美。看着你的作文一天天在进步,我们为你感到高兴,要继续加油哦,坚持就是胜利,祝你考研成功!
2015考研阅读:真题解析之经济类文章(13)[考研视频]2022考研初复试已经接近尾声,考研学子全面进入2023届备考,跨考为23考研的考生准备了10大课包全程准备、全年复习备考计划、目标院校专业辅导、全真复试模拟练习和全程针对性指导;2023考研的小伙伴针也已经开始择校和复习了,跨考考研畅学5.0版本全新升级,无论你在校在家都可以更自如的完成你的考研复习,暑假集训营带来了院校专业初步选择,明确方向;考研备考全年规划,核心知识点入门;个性化制定备考方案,助你赢在起跑线,早出发一点离成功就更近一点!
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